Most people have been there – the dreaded friend zone that is okay for a while, but which you may find yourself trying to get out of at some point. After all, feelings of friendship can quickly turn to romantic feelings when we least expect it, but if your crush still thinks of you as a friend and nothing else, what are you supposed to do next?
Fortunately, whether you’re male or female, there are things you can do if you want to learn how to get out of the friend zone and into a more meaningful relationship, and most of them are much easier than you might think.
Types of Friend Zones
Believe it or not, just because you’re not sleeping with your crush doesn’t mean you’re automatically in the friend zone. In fact, there are basically two different types of friend zones. The first is the emotional friend zone, and it involves being friends with someone you share everything with, someone you consider a best friend but with whom you do not have a sexual relationship.
The second type of friend zone is the sexual friend zone. Some people call these relationships “friends with benefits,” but when you’re not having sex with one another, your conversations are always less than serious and very casual. Some people stay in this type of relationship for years, but there is always a problem when one of you wants to be out of the friend zone and the other does not.
Regardless of which type of friend zone you’re in, all is not lost just because your crush isn’t currently reciprocating your romantic feelings. There are, in fact, things you can do to greatly increase the odds that your current “friend” will soon be your lover. All you have to do is get brave enough to try one of these tips, and they include the following.
1. Determine If It’s Worth It
What if you tell your crush how you feel and it ruins the friendship between you? This is always a possibility when you feel bold enough to move forward with your plans to seduce your current friend-zone partner. Before you do anything, therefore, you have to think about all of your options and all of the possible ways it can end. If there is even the possibility it could ruin your friendship, you have to decide for yourself if it’s worth the risk, then proceed accordingly.
2. Think About the Timing of Your Actions
This means not only waiting until the right moment to express to your friend how you feel, but also making sure that that friend isn’t going through a stressful time at the moment.
If your friend is stressed about his job or anything in his personal life, it likely isn’t the time to talk to him about your feelings toward him. Wait until your friend is a little less stressed before you approach him with this type of shocking news. You should also wait until you’re alone with him and have some quiet time so that neither of you gets distracted at the wrong moment.
3. Tell Your Friend Exactly How You Feel
They say that honesty is the best policy, but does this apply when you’re trying to get out of the friend zone? Basically, yes it does. Unless you are certain you know how your friend will react, which is doubtful, go ahead and tell him how you feel and see what happens next. Direct communication and honesty is sometimes the best route to take in this situation.
One word of warning; however, if your friend rejects the idea of the two of you being more than friends, you need to respect that decision and move on.
4. Give Yourself Some Time
You can’t expect a friendship to turn into a full-blown romantic relationship overnight. You have to give it some time. In the meantime, try to spend time alone with him to see if you can gauge his feelings toward you and to determine if any sparks are flying.
Pay attention to what he says and does, and when you feel comfortable doing so, you can even initiate a few playful and flirty acts to see how he reacts to them. But most of all, accept the fact that it is not going to happen quickly – at least that’s how it is in most relationships.
5. Initiate More Physical Contact, But Do it Slowly
Friends of the opposite sex or even the same sex don’t normally touch each other in a romantic way, so if you decide to do this with your friend, it is very likely he’ll eventually see you in a much more romantic way. Start slowly by touching his arm or back, but be respectful as well.
After all, not everyone likes to be touched, so start slowly and see what his reactions are, and only move up to the next level of touching when you get a response from him that tells you it’s alright to proceed.
6. Avoid the Situation in the First Place
When you meet someone and you become friends with him, you essentially only have a small window of opportunity to get to be more than friends, and you need to take advantage of it.
Naturally, the best way to get out of the friend zone is never to be put there at all. This isn’t always possible, of course, because it sometimes takes years for romantic feelings for someone to develop. But if you learn quickly that you want to be more than friends with someone, don’t take too long to act on those feelings.
7. Do Things to Make Them See You in a Romantic Way
These can be simple things, such as telling your friend, “if I had a boyfriend/girlfriend, I would … “. It gives your friend something to think about, and even if he isn’t ready to think of you as more than a friend at the moment, it can make him more likely to feel that way in the future. It also lets him know that you’d be a great significant other, so if he is ever ready to fill those shoes, he’ll know that you’re going to make a great partner.
8. Go Ahead and Flirt with Him
Even if you’re just friends right now, nothing in the rule book says you can’t flirt with him, even if it’s only occasionally. In fact, flirting only occasionally can provide you with an idea of how he feels about the idea of the two of you being more than friends, so it is often a great place to start.
You don’t have to flirt with him constantly, but an occasional flirty gesture plants the idea of a romantic relationship between the two of you in his head, so he’ll at least start to think about it. Thinking about it means that when he is ready for a romantic relationship, he will be much more likely to choose you in the end.
9. Perform Thoughtful Actions and Surprises
If you know he loves sugar cookies, surprise him with a homemade batch of them. Do something kind and considerate – something he didn’t expect you to do. In fact, this is a great way to get someone to fall in love with you because let’s face it, everyone loves people who do things for them that they love.
Again, you don’t have to do this all the time because then it won’t be as special, but occasionally surprising him with a thoughtful act can go a long way in creating the relationship you want with him.
10. Stop Obsessing Over Him
Regardless of how long it’s been since you’ve admitted your true feelings about this person, never let it turn into an obsession. There will come a time when you either have to let the person know how you feel or move on and forget about him. If you don’t, you’re likely to go nuts over the whole ordeal.
Go out with other people, concentrate on yourself, and start thinking about other things besides trying to turn a friend into a lover. Eventually, the relationship will either work or not work, and you’ll have to decide how to react to the situation afterward.
Learning how to get out of the friend zone can be challenging and scary, but you’ll likely be surprised at the reaction you get from your friend.
In fact, you may even be surprised yourself and learn that he actually has the same feelings toward you. If he doesn’t, however, you have to realize that in most cases, it isn’t because you did something wrong. It could be a million different things causing him not to be interested in you at the moment, but keep in mind that this could change in a moment’s notice.
Paying close attention to cues can also help you get one step closer to being out of the friend zone, because the more you know what he’s feeling, the more ready you’ll be to take advantage of the situation and try to turn him from a friend into a lover.