One of the most common questions that you’re likely to get on any given day is: What are you doing? Sometimes this question calls for a witty and sarcastic response. If you don’t know how to respond to this question, this article will provide you with 126 witty and funny responses to ‘what are you doing?’
Funny Responses to ‘What Are You Doing?’
1. “Devising an escape route. What to come?”
2. “Killing some old cells and making some new ones.”
3. “Trying to imagine you with a personality.”
4. “Just making sure I’m not a cave dweller from the stone age.”
5. “Thinking of ways I can beat you.”
6. “Search for the orphanage you came from so I can send you back.”
7. “Digging your grave.”
8. “Meditating. Be quiet.”
9. “There is no escape from my destiny.”
10. “Maintaining my organs.”
11. “Minding my own business. You should try it.”
12. “Pretending to be invisible.”
13. “Measuring the distance between reality and expectation.”
14. “Shedding my old skin.”
15. “Sure you don’t have the wrong number?”
16. “Nothing much, just secreting intestinal juices.”
17. “Enjoying one of the most beautiful gifts of life.”
18. “Bringing my social life score from more negative to less negative.”
19. “Google it.”
20. “Solving the world hunger crisis.”
21. “Definitely not what you are doing.”
22. “Trying to be helpful.”
23. “Definitely not you.”
24. “Changing the configuration settings for NASA satellites. Same old same old, you know how it is.”
25. “Please unfriend me.”
26. “Just answering stupid questions.”
27. “Business.”
28. “I’m retired.”
29. “Curing swine flu.”
30. “Living my own life.”
31. “Existing.”
Witty Responses to ‘What Are You Doing?’
32. “Planning to take over the world. You know. The usual.”
33. “Waiting for my problems to go away.”
34. “You want to know how my day was? Does this mean you…like me?”
35. “Trying to figure out a way to get rid of you.”
36. “Before I answer, you have first to tell me what color underwear you are wearing.”
37. “What is left unsaid, says it all.”
38. “Nice try! Now could you please empty your pockets? I’m definitely sure you just stole my heart.”
39. “Working on my novel.”
40. “As the prophecy foretold.”
41. “I’ve been alone for some time. Care to keep me company for a while?”
42. “Trying to get some alone time.”
43. “Walking and talking.”
44. “Can you ask a better question?”
45. “You are not the dumbest person on the planet, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”
46. “Hmm, my Spidey senses are tingling.”
47. “Developing my personal brand.”
48. “Fighting crime.”
49. “Just smile like an idiot. It’s pretty obvious that you’re in love.”
50. “Taking a mental hiatus.”
51. “In this economy?”
52. “Living the dream.”
53. “Curing cancer.”
54. “Looking at the other side of my eyelids.”
55. “Going with the motion of the ocean.”
56. “Living in the moment.”
57. “Making horrible decisions. Please stop me.”
58. “How long did it take you to come up with that one?”
59. “Finger guns.”
60. “No, how are you? Do you want to go out with me tonight?”
61. “Just the usual.”
Best Responses to ‘What Are You Doing?’
62. “Something boring. Wanna hang out?”
63. “Oooooh, I like the sound of that. Please repeat what you just asked me.”
64. “I’m lost for words. I mean, you just look so attractive it’s distracting!”
65. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”
66. “Living in the moment.”
67. “I’m just here thinking about you.”
68. “Not you, unfortunately.”
69. “Trying to figure out this stupid math assignment. Do you think you might have some luck with it?”
70. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”
71. “I’m so bored! Wanna go on an adventure?”
72. “Trying to figure out when you’re finally going to ask me out.”
73. “Daydreaming about our wedding day. Do you think we should have lilacs or roses?”
74. ”I still haven’t figured it out.”
75. “The usual, missing you.”
76. “Nothing much.”
77. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
78. “If you don’t shut your mouth, the next thing to come out of it will be your teeth.”
79. “My business isn’t your business.”
80. “Can you ask an easier question?”
81. “Just what I needed to hear—your voice!”
82. “I’ve been so busy this entire time. Wanna come to distract me?”
83. “The voices in my head are telling me to say NOTHING.”
84. “I’d tell you, but then you would want to spank me.”
85. “Awww…did you miss me?”
86. “I’m busy, but do you want me to add you to my to-do list?”
87. “I’ve been watching Netflix but no one to chill with. Care to join me?”
88. “Working on my novel.”
89. “Just playing with my pet. Would you like to meet him/her?”
90. “Burning down a library.”
91. “Taking a shower.”
92. “You are annoying.”
93. “Paying the rent.”
94. “Why, what did you hear?”
95. “Who told you?”
96. “A two-letter word is indicating direction.”
97. “Going with the motion of the ocean.”
98. “Honestly, I wasn’t feeling good. Well, not until you spoke to me.”
Clever Responses to ‘What Are You Doing?’
99. “Trying to figure out this stupid math assignment. Do you think you might have some luck with it?”
100. “Do you want a list?”
101. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
102. “I love the sound you make when you shut up.”
103. “Watching [movie/TV show]. Have you ever watched it?”
104. “Whatever I want.”
105. “I’m so bored! Wanna go on an adventure?”
106. “If I said I was head over heels for you, what you say?”
107. “I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?”
108. “The quieter you are, the more you can hear.”
109. “Did you know that kissing burns 1.5 calories per minute? Wanna work out with me?”
110. “I seem to have lost my phone number and I can’t find it. Can I have yours?”
111. “Trying to see things from your perspective.”
112. “I’m on this mission to stop thinking about you. It’s called: Mission impossible!”
113. “I don’t speak to idiots.”
114. “Enough with the “how are you?” or “what’s up?” questions. Now talk dirty to me.”
115. “Every time you speak, I can feel my brain cells die.”
116. “Zombies eat brains… so you are safe.”
117. “You know, sometimes I find the solution to everything is just to stop talking.”
118. “Earth is full. Go home.”
119. “I’m still wearing that smile you gave me back then.”
120. “Please…. keep talking. I only yawn when I am totally interested in what you have to say.”
121. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”
122. “I was daydreaming until you came and made it a reality.”
123. “Kinda bored. Want to come to play with me?”
124. “You are such a smooth talker.”
125. “You look familiar. Oh yeah, you’re the boy/girl of my dreams!”
126. “Daydreaming about our wedding day. Do you think we should have lilacs or roses?”
