the power of humor in online dating

The Power of Humor in Online Dating: Using Laughter to Attract Your Perfect Match

Who among us wouldn’t choose a date or a romantic partner who can make us laugh–and we mean true LOLs. It’s a fact–you can even see singles on dating apps listing “having a good sense of humor” as a non-negotiable right there in their dating profile!

Just being around a person with a great sense of humor can be as entertaining as watching the funniest sitcom on TV, but when it comes to attracting compatible matches on online dating sites? It’s basically a superpower without the form-fitting suit and cape.

While research has focused extensively on humor’s function in the honeymoon phase of romantic partnerships, the question remains: does it play a similar role in the upkeep and happiness of those partnerships over time? In a study performed among 149 couples in committed, long-term relationships, Lukasz Jach and colleagues examined the frequency of joking and laughter as well as the quality of said jokes (Jach, Kubicius, & Jonason, 2022).

The researchers evaluated the amount of laughter and joke-y behavior in each relationship, as well as the caliber of the jokes used–they did this by asking study participants about how often they kid around with their partner, how often they found their partner’s jokes to be funny, and the frequency that they laughed at their own jokes. Participants also shared how frequently their partners cracked jokes, how often their partners laughed during their own jokes, and how often they found their partner’s jokes to be funny.

According to Psychology Today, the humor styles questionnaire (Martin, et al, 2003) rated affiliative humor “(‘I enjoy making people laugh’), self-enhancing humor (‘If I am feeling depressed, I can usually cheer myself up with humor’), aggressive humor (‘If someone makes a mistake, I will often tease them about it’), and self-defeating humor (‘I let people laugh at me or make fun at my expense more often’).”

In layman’s terms, the secret weapon for online dating (and dating in general) is humor, so yuck it up and use the following tips to use your humor to attract your perfect match–it’s a great tool to have in your arsenal!

Break the Ice with a Joke

So you are making the rounds on the dating app of your choice when BAM! You see a profile that knocks the wind out of you. They check all your dating boxes, but you aren’t quite sure how to kick off a convo.

You don’t want to do the same ol’ lame “Hey” or “What’s up;” you are really interested in getting to know this person. What should you do? Well, that’s easy if you have a sense of humor (and, hopefully, your potential match does too). Send a fun icebreaker. It doesn’t have to be earth-shatteringly hilarious–just funny or witty enough so they’ll know you went out of your way to put some thought into that first important message!

Don’t worry if you can’t pull one out of your back pocket–lots of dating apps have icebreakers and prompts that you can use if you are stuck on what to say or suffering from writer’s block. And if none of the pre-written ones are up to snuff, check out these online dating icebreakers!

Show Off Your Humor on Your Dating Profile

You don’t have to wait for private messages to show off your sense of humor–you can do it right there on your dating profile. In fact, you should be doing this already!

After swiping and scrolling, dating profiles can become a blur of faces and cliched sayings. But crafting a truly funny bio will help you stand out among the generic bio-having dating pool, and potential matches will take a second look.

Finding Common Ground With LOLs

Shared interests are a must when it comes to finding a perfect match, and humor is an invaluable instrument to find common ground with a possible partner-to-be!

Have you ever bonded with an acquaintance or co-worker over your love for a funny movie, your fav stand-up comedian, or even a silly meme that makes you howl every time you think of it? Of course, you have! And if that’s just with platonic people in your life, imagine how it translates to a romantic partner! Laughter is the best medicine, and it’s also a secret ingredient to creating and solidifying romantic relationships–you can quote us on that.

Lighten the Vibe During Nervous Moments

First dates, whether they are in-person or virtual, can be super nerve-wracking! Humor is an asset when it comes to breaking the ice or during painfully awkward silent moments. You can crack a joke about the awkward silence to lighten the nervous energy–it’s relatable since it’s actually happening to the two of you as you speak (or don’t speak, hence the need for a joke).

Don’t Be Offensive or Crude

Look, humor is great, and we all love a good joke, but there are ones that cross the line in any situation, let alone when you’re trying to woo a potential match.

We aren’t the joke police, but you should use common sense and good judgment when engaging with someone via humor. It’s easy; don’t be demeaning, cruel, mean-spirited, or make jokes at the expense of others–that’s punching down. Just keep it light! Oh, and one more tip–not everyone is “fluent” in sarcasm. And since there are no inflection or facial expressions to convey you are being sarcastic in a written message, it’s best to steer clear of that until you know a potential match better.

Be Real

Yes, humor is the ultimate icebreaker in online dating, but don’t hide behind it–you don’t always have to be “on” to impress someone! If they truly want to get to know you, you should show them more than your humorous side. Don’t forget that you contain multitudes, and if someone likes you, they are gonna want to hear more than jokes 24/7–so be real and genuine when you aren’t trying to get them to LOL.

Laughter Builds Good Connections

As we noted above, psychologists and scientists have spent years researching and proving that laughter creates positive associations–when you tickle someone’s funny bone, their brain forms a positive association with you due to the warm feelings they experience at that moment.

This cool phenomenon is known as classical conditioning, and it will definitely work in your favor when it comes to potential matches.

Humor is an Ego Booster

Confidence is sexy as heck, and humor can act as a confidence booster. You radiate a sense of self-assurance by making someone laugh, making you even more attractive in the eyes of the beholder–in this case, a potential match.

Remember: Laugh at Yourself

We would all do well to heed this one tip–and that’s the ability to laugh at yourself. Why? It shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and, more importantly, humble. Don’t be scared to tell a semi-humiliating or embarrassing story about yourself; it humanizes you and makes you so much more relatable.


Humor is the best trusty wingman when it comes to online dating–not only does it break the ice, but it also gives potential matches a sneak peek of your funny personality. It’s a powerful asset, and who doesn’t love to be around funny people?

Humor can get people to let down their guard but don’t abuse it by taking it too far or being disrespectful or cruel. Being genuine and kind, in addition to being funny, is a triple threat when it comes to dating–the world is your oyster if you combine the three when chatting with matches.

Similar Posts